Negative comments and there impact

I have written before about my desire to lose weight for health reasons however I also don’t want to lose my curves and I don’t want to be slim. Now this is not me hating those who are slim it is just my personal preference, I like the way my curves feel and I would not feel like me without them.  I love women, I love how we are all different and all unique.  I love that we are so strong, we are capable of more than we are given credit for and we are beautiful, every one of us.  The world can be such a negative place and it is so refreshing to see so many women standing up for one another and providing confidence and support in a world full of negativity.

That said I have read a lot of disturbing comments recently on certain Facebook groups which are supposed to either support the body positive movement or are there to support plus size women. One particular comment really upset and angered me.  I won’t put the full details and I won’t name the group or person but the comment went along the lines of implying that Slimmer women do not have the right to complain about the negative comments they receive as its much worse when you are plus size so they should just get over it and stop complaining.  There are many things wrong with this statement and although I chose not to comment on the original post I would like to discuss it here.  I did not want to get involved with a petty argument on Facebook but I would really like to open a discussion and know your views.

The first thing that enraged me was that surely any abuse / negative comment / body shaming is bad, it does not matter if that comment is to a Plus sized women, a short women, a skinny women or a blonde women. It shouldn’t happen and it should be taken seriously.  Just one comment can have a massively negative impact that can have far reaching consequences.  One comment can settle in the back of your head and can fester and develop into feelings of self-loathing and self-doubt.  Just one comment can destroy a life, it can set in motion a series of events that can lead to depression, anxiety and more.  I know I have been there!

Secondly as a women who has been on the receiving end of these comments (which the original poster head) I cannot understand how you can view your experience as any worse than anyone else’s. How do you justify in your head that because you are Plus Sized then these comments must be far more hurtful or negative.  We should be on the side of the women who is receiving these comments whatever they are and whatever they refer to.  The thought that someone would rather criticise and demean women further because they feel their experiences are worse is just heart breaking.

I have had my say and I feel better for being able to voice my opinion and would really love to hear what your views are on this topic. I think it’s so important for women to be able to discuss these issues and to share experiences.

I also want to be honest here, I have looked at women before and thought to myself that I don’t like an outfit or not keen on that hairstyle but these are my opinions, they do not need to be voiced and they do not need to be shared. It is more to do with what I like and would feel comfortable in than to do with the other women.  We all take ideas from others and in the same way we reject ideas from seeing them on someone else.  I think this is natural, we are all human and we all have opinions, it is not shaming the other person, we are allowed that opinion however if that opinion could cause offence or hurt I believe it is more beneficial to keep it to yourself.  Why hurt some when there is just no need to do so?

We are all in this together and maybe we should just be kind and respect other people. The body positive movement and all that comes with it is so important.  We live in such a diverse and unique society that we need to embrace that and see all differences as positive and not encourage the negative.

I really would love to hear your opinions and let me know how you handle criticism and any negative comments you may have received.

Kerry xx


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