Let’s talk about sex? Yes, Sex? The subject that is so often taboo especially for Big Girls. We are so often told to cover up, not to show to much skin, not show our sexuality and definitely not to talk about sex! Well I want to change that, I want to talk openly about the subject and find out what you lovely ladies feel and think.
As a woman who has always been plus size I have at times felt very uncomfortable in my own skin and was never happy to be naked and be seen. I covered up, I did not express my sexuality and did not feel comfortable talking about it. I was shy, I felt unattractive and I was baffled at the thought that anyone would find me attractive or want to be intimate with me. I felt I was not worthy of an intimate and fulfilling sexual relationship and was made to feel grateful for any attention I received.
I spent some time on my own and began to work through the feelings I had. I spent time looking after me. I started to take care of my skin, to buy clothes I liked rather than ones that just covered me up and I spoke to a counsellor. I talked through the feelings I had around my image and what I could do to reverse those feelings and regain my confidence. It took time, it took a lot of tears, it took a lot of heart ache and soul searching but I got there and I am happier than I have ever been.
I met Mark and he looks at me like no one ever has before, he looks at me and sees me, the real me and I see in his eyes the love and desire he has for me. And I think to myself how lucky I am. I am lucky that I was able to find the real confident me so I was able to let Mark see the person I really am and not be afraid to open up to him and experience the love I do, every day. Every woman deserves to be loved and desired for the person they are, not to be told to cover up or hide and not to be told to change to find that love. Mark has never tried to change me, he loves me and I love him because we are the people we are and together we are even better.
So I started this blog saying I wanted to talk about sex. So let’s do that. I like sex! It’s not a bad thing to say, it shouldn’t be shied away from. Sex does not have to be topic that just because we are Big Girls we should not admit to enjoying. There are so many myths about dating and sleeping with Plus Sized women, that we are somehow more grateful for a man’s attention, that we have low self-esteem or that we are easy because we grab the attention no matter where it comes from. This sort of thing really annoys me. We are women and yes sometimes we have low self-esteem but that is no different to any other women of any shape or size. Any man who is worth our attention will see the real you and he will see the sexy, beautiful women that stands in front of him and he will think of nothing more than wanting to rip off your clothes and get his hands on the body beneath. He will be thinking how lucky he is to get to kiss you and to get to hold of you and he will do all he can to please you.
Some people think being with a Plus Size women is a fetish. I disagree, it is no different to preferring blondes. We are all drawn to certain types of people, it’s not a fetish its attraction and it’s not a bad thing to admit. I like tall men and I have always liked red hair. Well I landed on my feet and I got both and I know if you ask Mark he will tell you it was my eyes he fell in love with first however he is quite fond of my bum too!
I read so many articles about Plus Size women not being able to get into certain positions and not being able to enjoy certain types of sex. This quite honestly is crap and it really annoys me. Sex should not be limited, if you can and want to then go for it, no matter what position. Sex is individual and unique to you and if you can’t or don’t want to do something for whatever reason then don’t, however if you want to try something and have a partner you trust then I say go for it. Don’t let what other people think hold you back. You are the one in control of what you want. I have learnt to voice how I feel and what I want and I can honestly tell you things have never been better!
Be you, be individual and be wonderful!