I am a Big Girl, I am a Plus Sized woman, and I am Fat and I’m not afraid to say it! Why should I be? I am who I am, it does not affect anyone else and it does not define me. This is something I have written about before and still feels so important to me.
I have struggled my whole life with body image, I have felt unattractive, unworthy and horrible. My family have always told me I am beautiful, they have been by my side and they have supported me always. But there was something in my head that stopped me from seeing the true beauty of me. And that has nothing to do with the way I look, I have written before about my size fluctuating and my health being impacted, that I am at the moment trying to lose weight and get healthy for my own personal reasons, not because I am unhappy but because I have had a serious health scare and I want to be as healthy and as fit as possible for my kids.
I have wondered if this would be judged? I am running a business for Plus Sized women and I have decided to lose weight. Does that go against what I am trying to do with Big Girls Don’t Cry? I don’t think it does, I will always understand how hard it can be for a Plus Sized woman to find elegant, sexy and well-fitting lingerie. That will never go away whatever size I am. I will always remember the feelings of self-loathing and hatred that filled my head for so long and I want to be able to share those experiences and maybe support and help other women to see their true beauty. I will never forget the wonderful feeling of finally being truly happy and knowing that I am worth love and all the good things that life brings and that will stay with me always because I am know happy. And that is nothing to do with my size but is a reflection of my inner self and how I have learnt to love me no matter how I look or what dress size I wear.
I am so lucky to have found that happiness and to have found love. Love with a man that wrote such beautiful words for this blog just two days ago. Love that has showed me that I am worth so much more than I ever let myself believe I was. Love that has provided the support and encouragement that I needed to start believing in myself. I feel so lucky to have this wonderful man and to have a support network that is not judgemental but is there for me. So I hope with Big Girls Don’t Cry we can provide that support for anyone that needs or wants it and also provide a little bit of fun and sexiness along the way.