Things That go Bump in the Night!

We have over the last few weeks added loads of new products, new suppliers and worked tirelessly to find things to enchant excite and entice you all.

How are we doing? Have you visited the website?

Our aim has always been to seek lingerie for the Big Girl that doesn’t just play a functional role but extenuates their natural beauty, makes them feel good about themselves and maybe explore that playful edge.

With that in mind we have started to add a range of PVC fetish wear from a wonderful supplier Noir Handmade, these products are incredibly well made and really show off those curves with just enough raw edge and sass to drop the jaws of onlookers, these are not just for the confines of your own home they are clawing to get out on the town.

For those that feel that little hidden desire and want to enrich their boudoir experience then we have one or two items to really liven things up and push those playful boundaries, fancy being tied up and spanked or perhaps you’re the dominant one then these will have your cheeks red in no time (not blushing ladies).

Winter is coming and thoughts of comfort and nights in with loved ones is fast approaching but who ever said it had to be flannel PJ’s hidden from head to toe. These will help those long drawn out nights heat up fast and do it with style, comfort and sex appeal. Soft, silky cami sets from NineX are just perfect when snuggling close on the sofa.

Finally, we are the in the stages of assisting the bustier of our Big Girls we are slowly bringing the Elila Range of bras online these are well crafted and designed bras specifically for the larger bust, they are in American sizing but we have added a handy conversion chart to get you started and with pricing from around £50 delivered in the UK who can turn down that offer.

The spook season is upon us and thoughts of all things that go bump in the night are running through our heads (not all of them clean!) make sure you have liked our Facebook Page and be the first to hear of the great costume deals and maybe a little competition as reward

Go on treat yourselves and who knows you may be making new noises in the full moon this October!!!

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Body Positive Truely Happy or Just Content?

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How do you feel Body Positive? this is a question we at Big Girls Don’t Cry recently asked our Facebook followers, the array of words and responses were astounding and a real insight into how Big Girls felt about themselves.

The real joy came from not getting any obviously negative responses or so we thought until we delved and thought about things a bit harder. A lot of the words we expected to see appeared Sexy, Big and Curvy but the surprise words were content and confident. My question to you is should these words be linked to how we look or what shape or size we are? …are these not something that we should have with those around us.

Content conjures a feeling of settled or resigned but doesn’t leave me feeling happy, this may be just a perception I have or a way in which I am reading this, but how many times has a ‘Big Girl’ told themselves they are ‘content’ but inside they are hating who they are and how they appear.

Big Girls Don’t Cry was setup to enable ‘Big Girls’ in particular to be able to move away from ‘content’ and move towards happy, proud and confident, all these words did appear but there are still those that have not reached that place, which means we still have work to do.

Body Positivity has recently been the steam roller quote for the Plus Size Movement and it has somehow been diluted to a commercially viable bandwagon…now I know there are some of you reading this that will call us no different and I will answer that yes we are a commercial entity, yes we are in the market of selling to make money but we also want to create a community a place where our ‘Big Girls’ can air their views, exchange their thoughts and feel they are being listened to.  We are creating a site that enables our ‘Big Girls’ to explore who they are and feel they can wear, look and do anything they have previously been told they can’t

We want our ‘Big Girls’ to be involved in what we are doing, tell us their thoughts, desires even… at present we are only online as an entity we are moving this family run venture forward whilst both myself and Kerry work fulltime jobs and juggle 3 wonderful children, however our aim is to hit the high street not just with a store but to create a community hub promoting a body positive image and enabling women of all shapes and sizes to start feeling happy in themselves and not just ‘content’

Please lets us know your thoughts, tell us How YOU feel body positive?

Mark X

 

Gold Butterflies and Gum On A String

I have been nominated for the Gold Butterflies and Gum On A String aka My Favourite New Blogger Award by Pretty, Plus and Proud, take a look at her blog and thank you for the nomination.

Rules:

  1. The blog nominated has to be 400 hundred followers or less.
  2. Answer questions provided by the nominator.
  3. Nominate 10 other bloggers with 400 or less followers.
  4. Be sure to thank whoever nominated you.
  5. Make sure the blogs you nominate are made aware of the nomination.

Questions from Pretty, Plus and Proud

  1. What inspired you to write a blog? – I wanted to share my experiences of being plus size and hopefully inspire others to believe in them selves and encourage women of all sizes to express their beauty and sexuality.
  2. What do you wish for the future of your blog? – I would like more and more people to see the blog and maybe be inspired to share their own experiences.
  3. Other than writing, what do you enjoy doing in your spare time? – I love to spend time with my other half, he is my rock and my love and he gets me through the day.  I love my family and everything I do is for them.
  4. How many other blogs do you follow? -28 wonderful blogs
  5. How many followers do you currently have? – 1 fabulous plus size blogger (we are very new)

My Nominees (I was not able to figure out how to know the number of followers a blog has so I’m nominating the following blogs simply because I like them):

  1. http://alicescottswonderlandblog.com/
  2. https://bryoneycook.wordpress.com/
  3. http://itspamelakieck.com/
  4. http://blog.theluxemode.com/
  5. http://soflofatgirlblog.com/
  6. http://mymadfatfashion.com/
  7. http://mslindsaym.com/
  8. http://felicitymonroe1985.com/
  9. https://lacesbowsandsecrets.wordpress.com/
  10. https://haleyfalco.wordpress.com/

My Questions:

  1. What gives you your inspiration for your blog posts?
  2. Are your friends and family supportive of your blog?
  3. What type of blog do you like to read?
  4. What gives you joy everyday?
  5. Where do you see the blog in 5 years?

Thanks once again to Pretty, Plus and Proud for this recognition! I truly appreciate your support and am so glad you enjoy my blog!

 

Kerry xx

 

Plus Size Sex!

th1dfvdkx3Let’s talk about sex? Yes, Sex? The subject that is so often taboo especially for Big Girls.  We are so often told to cover up, not to show to much skin, not show our sexuality and definitely not to talk about sex!  Well I want to change that, I want to talk openly about the subject and find out what you lovely ladies feel and think.

As a woman who has always been plus size I have at times felt very uncomfortable in my own skin and was never happy to be naked and be seen.  I covered up, I did not express my sexuality and did not feel comfortable talking about it.  I was shy, I felt unattractive and I was baffled at the thought that anyone would find me attractive or want to be intimate with me.  I felt I was not worthy of an intimate and fulfilling sexual relationship and was made to feel grateful for any attention I received.

I spent some time on my own and began to work through the feelings I had.  I spent time looking after me.  I started to take care of my skin, to buy clothes I liked rather than ones that just covered me up and I spoke to a counsellor.  I talked through the feelings I had around my image and what I could do to reverse those feelings and regain my confidence.  It took time, it took a lot of tears, it took a lot of heart ache and soul searching but I got there and I am happier than I have ever been.

I met Mark and he looks at me like no one ever has before, he looks at me and sees me, the real me and I see in his eyes the love and desire he has for me.  And I think to myself how lucky I am.  I am lucky that I was able to find the real confident me so I was able to let Mark see the person I really am and not be afraid to open up to him and experience the love I do, every day.  Every woman deserves to be loved and desired for the person they are, not to be told to cover up or hide and not to be told to change to find that love.  Mark has never tried to change me, he loves me and I love him because we are the people we are and together we are even better.

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So I started this blog saying I wanted to talk about sex.  So let’s do that.  I like sex! It’s not a bad thing to say, it shouldn’t be shied away from.  Sex does not have to be topic that just because we are Big Girls we should not admit to enjoying.  There are so many myths about dating and sleeping with Plus Sized women, that we are somehow more grateful for a man’s attention, that we have low self-esteem or that we are easy because we grab the attention no matter where it comes from.  This sort of thing really annoys me.  We are women and yes sometimes we have low self-esteem but that is no different to any other women of any shape or size.  Any man who is worth our attention will see the real you and he will see the sexy, beautiful women that stands in front of him and he will think of nothing more than wanting to rip off your clothes and get his hands on the body beneath.  He will be thinking how lucky he is to get to kiss you and to get to hold of you and he will do all he can to please you. 

Some people think being with a Plus Size women is a fetish.  I disagree, it is no different to preferring blondes.  We are all drawn to certain types of people, it’s not a fetish its attraction and it’s not a bad thing to admit.  I like tall men and I have always liked red hair.  Well I landed on my feet and I got both and I know if you ask Mark he will tell you it was my eyes he fell in love with first however he is quite fond of my bum too!

I read so many articles about Plus Size women not being able to get into certain positions and not being able to enjoy certain types of sex.  This quite honestly is crap and it really annoys me.  Sex should not be limited, if you can and want to then go for it, no matter what position.  Sex is individual and unique to you and if you can’t or don’t want to do something for whatever reason then don’t, however if you want to try something and have a partner you trust then I say go for it.  Don’t let what other people think hold you back.  You are the one in control of what you want.  I have learnt to voice how I feel and what I want and I can honestly tell you things have never been better!

 

Be you, be individual and be wonderful!

Kerry xx

Negative comments and there impact

I have written before about my desire to lose weight for health reasons however I also don’t want to lose my curves and I don’t want to be slim. Now this is not me hating those who are slim it is just my personal preference, I like the way my curves feel and I would not feel like me without them.  I love women, I love how we are all different and all unique.  I love that we are so strong, we are capable of more than we are given credit for and we are beautiful, every one of us.  The world can be such a negative place and it is so refreshing to see so many women standing up for one another and providing confidence and support in a world full of negativity.

That said I have read a lot of disturbing comments recently on certain Facebook groups which are supposed to either support the body positive movement or are there to support plus size women. One particular comment really upset and angered me.  I won’t put the full details and I won’t name the group or person but the comment went along the lines of implying that Slimmer women do not have the right to complain about the negative comments they receive as its much worse when you are plus size so they should just get over it and stop complaining.  There are many things wrong with this statement and although I chose not to comment on the original post I would like to discuss it here.  I did not want to get involved with a petty argument on Facebook but I would really like to open a discussion and know your views.

The first thing that enraged me was that surely any abuse / negative comment / body shaming is bad, it does not matter if that comment is to a Plus sized women, a short women, a skinny women or a blonde women. It shouldn’t happen and it should be taken seriously.  Just one comment can have a massively negative impact that can have far reaching consequences.  One comment can settle in the back of your head and can fester and develop into feelings of self-loathing and self-doubt.  Just one comment can destroy a life, it can set in motion a series of events that can lead to depression, anxiety and more.  I know I have been there!

Secondly as a women who has been on the receiving end of these comments (which the original poster head) I cannot understand how you can view your experience as any worse than anyone else’s. How do you justify in your head that because you are Plus Sized then these comments must be far more hurtful or negative.  We should be on the side of the women who is receiving these comments whatever they are and whatever they refer to.  The thought that someone would rather criticise and demean women further because they feel their experiences are worse is just heart breaking.

I have had my say and I feel better for being able to voice my opinion and would really love to hear what your views are on this topic. I think it’s so important for women to be able to discuss these issues and to share experiences.

I also want to be honest here, I have looked at women before and thought to myself that I don’t like an outfit or not keen on that hairstyle but these are my opinions, they do not need to be voiced and they do not need to be shared. It is more to do with what I like and would feel comfortable in than to do with the other women.  We all take ideas from others and in the same way we reject ideas from seeing them on someone else.  I think this is natural, we are all human and we all have opinions, it is not shaming the other person, we are allowed that opinion however if that opinion could cause offence or hurt I believe it is more beneficial to keep it to yourself.  Why hurt some when there is just no need to do so?

We are all in this together and maybe we should just be kind and respect other people. The body positive movement and all that comes with it is so important.  We live in such a diverse and unique society that we need to embrace that and see all differences as positive and not encourage the negative.

I really would love to hear your opinions and let me know how you handle criticism and any negative comments you may have received.

Kerry xx

Halloween!

So with our sale now ended we are looking forward to the next big thing and for us here at Big Girls Don’t Cry that is Halloween. The nights are drawing in and the skies are getting darker, the air is getting colder and we want to heat things up!

Just because its cooler outside does not mean we have to be covered up from head to toe. We are adding some stunning new lines including a range by G-World. The lingerie is classic and sexy and includes some beautiful nightdresses and robes. We are so happy to be building the ranges all the time and to have such lovely products to showcase for our beautiful customers.

Our next big range is our Halloween costumes. We have sourced some fun and flirty costumes for any Big Girl who is either heading out to a party or wants to tease in the bedroom. We have everything from scary yummy mummies to cheeky clown!

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As a Big Girl myself I have always struggled to find a costume I would feel comfortable and sexy in. I love to dress up and play a character and show off my curves and I really do think we have pulled together the pieces that allow us Big Girls to do just that. I used to be very shy, I was not confident and I did not appreciate the body I had. Now I do, I see its beauty every day, I see the way Mark looks at me and I see the way my clothes fit and hug every curve. So this Halloween I will be dressing up to match the way I feel, I will be heading to a Halloween party dressed to impress. The only problem is what do I go as, Nurse, Clown, Mummy, policewomen……………Maybe I need more than one invite!

Or maybe I need to surprise Mark with a little adventure with my alter ego!!

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I think I will be a Pirate!!

‘Big Girls’ a man’s perspective

Firstly, let me introduce me, I’m the other half of the Big Girls Don’t Cry duo, Kerry and I have been together for 7 years she was a Big Girl when I met and she is now it doesn’t define our relationship and it doesn’t label us as a couple.

Size is a number consumerism has created to label and define, now I can’t change the system or can I… I can I hope change the perception and attitude towards it…at Big Girls Don’t Cry we would love to dispense with numbering and labelling but if we were to do that then who would know which item to pick and would it fit, we have been indoctrinated into labelling our body sizes to the point that now it is second nature to walk in to a store and refer to ourselves as ‘I’m a 24’….You’re not your you….you wear a size 24 but it’s not who you are.

In every aspect of our lives we are taught to be individual, promote and sell ourselves except when it comes to body image…. specifically, women’s body image, magazines and fashions, adverts and media…. Body image is portrayed in the next fad diet, weight loss programme, exercise DVD or catwalk unrealistic view of how a women should look…. From a man’s perspective how a woman should look is confident and happy, that can’t be defined by body shape or size alone.

Big Girls Don’t Cry is a website dedicated to bringing sensual, elegant and sexy lingerie to the labelled ‘Plus Size’ but we want to be more than that, we want to be at the driving end of changing the way we label, perceive and define ourselves through body image. We want our guests to be themselves to choose clothing for them not for stereotype society dictates.

Society dictates how we should be seen and how much can be seen, the size and shape of our bodies appears the defining aspect when these rules are imposed but why should society imposed rules upon our own bodies…be proud of who you are, show what you want and be seen for who you want to be.

Big Girls Don’t Cry are striving to locate practical lingerie that has that edge, the side that will make our ‘Big Girls’ feel amazing, extenuate their natural beauty but blow the socks off the partner lucky enough to see them…we have hit many issue regarding our imagery and it being seen as overtly sexualised….we are happy to see that they are being viewed in a sexualised manner……we want our guests to been able to feel sexy and been seen as such, our models are stunning and real women just like you.

As a man entering into the world of woman’s lingerie it has opened my eyes to the way women’s body image is viewed and the biggest surprise is that these negative views are rarely perpetuated by men but by women, the way you view yourselves or are viewed by other women appear to dictate how you feel, as a man, the beauty a women exudes is within her, the ability to walk in to a room and with attitude alone display an air of beauty that has nothing to do with what size they are or how they look, is the ultimate attraction.  I am not unaware that the clothing a woman what she wears can be the difference between having that attitude and not which is why at Big Girls Don’t Cry we want to aid in giving our ‘Big Girls’ the tools to walk in that room with the right attitude.

A final flurry, a word from me, continue being the beautiful ‘Big Girls’ you are, continue to walk in to that room and blow the socks of all that see you, share the ‘Big Girl’ message so others can feel like you and remember www.biggirlsdontcry.co.uk has everything you need to be you!!!

Mark X